Creio;

I mean it's not only just beacause you're not here but it's also because you don't care - when you should care. Told me that you would never let me be alone again and, for Christ sake, I belived in you, I gave up of every plans that I made just to be with you. Now here I am, without you and I feel that this is only the beginning of this nightmare. Shouldn't trust you, but you came into my life promising me salvation, and that was the only thing I needed at the time. Saw me mourning my love for you, touched my hand, I know you love me then, unbeknownst, you hoisted the flag of disaster.
How could you lie to me for five years? HOW?! Taking over my feelings for you, controlling the lies, just to control my choices and life. I could not live without the character of you, that little and sick lies you made - am I THAT lost now? The faces that I thought that belonged to you are fading to black, fading in black so let me reach your hand, I can't let this fade away. Please not now because I REALLY need your face around.
Why the mirror do not show me your smile anymore? It's because you're not real? I made it all? This was just a dream composing by me to make me feel less lonely? Was it? I do dream of you, I do still belive in you. Am I sick? I am THAT sick? Who cares anyway? I bleed, I ran, I was blind to you but NO ONE cares about my mental disease. Belive me, darling, I LOVE YOU, even knowing that you don't exist. I know the truth: you're a lie but let me be with you, let me be part of your world of lies because I'm soo alone and needy that I could take the consequences of this BIG and FUCKING lie. Take over me, haunt me, hunt me, kill me, torture me, lose me but PLEASE LOVE ME still. Say you LOVE ME yet in death or life, in war or peace. COME TO ME and I'll be safe in this lie's cage. I'll be deep enough to DIE for YOU. Baby, you don't remember me but I remember you. I lie AWAKE and try so hard not to think of you but who can decide what they dream? And dream I DO...But ONLY about YOU.
Lie to me, anyway and I'll belive you, bacause that's me: YOU LIE AND I BELIVE...

[foto by: callmesickgirl]